As many as 6.7 million Americans over 65 have Alzheimer’s Disease and that number is expected to more than double by 2060. An estimated 1.9 million new cancer cases are diagnosed annually, and another 1.4 million individuals suffer death by heart disease each year.
Many individuals in midlife have found themselves thrust into the role of caregiver. In fact, there are approximately 53 million caregivers in the U.S. and the average age of caregiver is around 49, according to the National Alliance for Caregiving. These individuals play a crucial role in aiding others, often family members who are unable to fully care for themselves due to age, illness, or disability.
Witnessing the decline in health or cognitive abilities of a loved one can be emotionally distressing. Familiar to us all are the sensations of grief, guilt, frustration, or isolation, physical exhaustion, fear, and the lack of time and support.
There are two main types of death—slow and fast, and both should be considered in the context of planning for a final transition. A prolonged decline or gradual deterioration of physical or mental function over time, includes degenerative diseases like Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s or certain types of cancer. A slow passing may involve a longer period of suffering for the individual as well for loved ones and caregivers but allows for more time to prepare emotionally and spiritually.
A fast death refers to a sudden and unexpected death, caused by heart attack, stroke, accident, acute illness, or suicide which may result in less physical suffering for the individual. A fast death may spare someone from a prolonged period of decline and dependency on others but this type of passing can be extremely traumatic for loved ones, leaving them with little time to prepare or to say goodbye.
If you find yourself in a caregiver role, prioritize self-care, you will be better able to navigate the challenges with resilience and compassion. Set realistic expectations and accept that you cannot do everything and that it’s okay to ask for help. Take breaks throughout the day to rest and recharge. Seek support when you need it. Talking to others who are in similar situations can provide validation, empathy and advice. Lastly, stay connected. Don’t stop exercising and above all stay connected to others. Come to our Wisdom Group
The subject of dying is often closeted away and brought out only in small doses until we have to face it straight on. Hiding the reality of death only makes living the experience more difficult for the dying person and people surrounding him or her. Not many individuals are comfortable talking about the end-of-life process and for some death is something that “happens.” Those left behind eventually move on and if they have trouble doing so most don’t talk about it.
A person’s dying time can be a space to share wisdom, experience healing and minimize regrets. Being a caregiver can be excruciating but being supported in one’s dying time shows us how life can be lived more fully.
