With the exception of a few occupations, most people have jobs that require them to interact with others. These interactions are meaningful but when we retire from our professional positions, we often leave these relationships behind. We are social animals first and foremost and our brains reflect this. There is a phenomenon called “limbic regulation” which basically says our brains and nervous system need to be around other brains and nervous systems to function well to fill the gap. 

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Funding retirement and maintaining healthy aging are clearly important to both sexes. The differences between men and women become more noticeable in the personal, social and planning parts of retirement. One of the most powerful traits for both men and women is a solid and diverse network. It is natural that our networks change as we evolve and the group of friends we have when younger may be quite different from the network of friends we have later in life. Women are much better networkers than men. As we live longer, the need for stimulating social interactions and nourishing relationships become even stronger, particularly for women because women are more likely to live alone as they age.  Once a woman reaches 65, she is twice as likely as a man to live alone, either because she has been widowed or because she has chosen to do so. 

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Our social interactions often begin with the type of relationship we have with our existing or potential partner. The first issue one is likely to confront after retirement is the amount of time spent with this individual.  When the balance changes, it can be disruptive at first and requires much conversation or coaching. While overall divorce rates in the U.S. have fallen over the past 20 years, they have actually increased for older couples. Currently almost 40% of those getting divorced are 50 or older. Since the 1990’s, the number of “gray divorces” has doubled.

 

For those over 65 the divorce rate has tripled.